Trust Falls and Trust Fails

Hello Friday! Hello, not sounding like a helium infused chipmunk!

Many Fridays on my blog, I participate in Lisa-Jo’s Five Minute Friday. The rules are simple:

  1. Write for 5 minutes-ish(close enough to count is fine).
  2. No Editing, Over-thinking, or the like…JUST WRITE.
  3. Comment on another 5 Minute Friday post.

Today’s prompt: TRUST

 

Start:

The carpeted gym, the myriad of awkward teenagers, the overenthusiastic leaders–there is really nothing like church youth group. Every summer, we shuffled into the youth room to endure another round of group activities, a devotional, and maybe if we were lucky snacks. One of the worst activities every invented by our youth leaders was the trust fall. All of the teens lined up to catch the willing victim, but I never could conjure up enough courage to try it.

Then, the leader likened the fall to trusting God. Somehow, he (always a male because women couldn’t teach a both guys and girls) would praise those who attempted the trust fall and would show how it proved their trust in God. Sitting with my friends, I felt like the oddball, the one who couldn’t do the activity, and it showed I couldn’t trust God either.In youth group, trusting God sounded easy like brushing my teeth or getting dressed, but it has never been easy for me.

Even now, I struggle to trust people whom I can see, hug, share my life let alone trust God or Jesus or the Holy Spirit whom I can’t see. Too often, I have trusted people, only to be disappointed, frustrated, and humiliated. I have endured people lying about me, slandering me, and simply ignoring my need for their friendship. It is a dark road that many times I have traveled alone. Now, I’m used to being alone, to enduring alone. Along the way, I built up walls so that I wouldn’t be hurt again, so I wouldn’t be tempted to trust anyone ever.

But I couldn’t live like this. Despite being strong, I needed to trust, to relearn how to trust people, to trust God. How could I fully love my spouse or kids if I couldn’t trust them? So I opened my heart to trust them. Once I began slowly removing the brick walls around me, I learned to allow others to help bear the oppressive weight of life, its uplifting joys. It is a slow process, even now, I struggle with trusting that God is good, that Jesus does love me, that the Holy Spirit does hear my prayers. But the process is a start, and I trust that I will find its end.

Finish.

9 thoughts on “Trust Falls and Trust Fails

  1. Sarah, so often we feel as though we alone struggle with a thing when in fact many {if not most} are right there with us. Our loads are often very similar and yet we all hide our struggles so very well that no one would ever know our little secret! This truth of making life appear pretty is what I wrote about a few days back in my post entitled “Enough Already!”. 

  2. Trusting is not an easy thing because what are we trusting? Are we trusting that we will never get hurt? Never be let down? Are we trusting that comfort will be afforded us in our struggles? Or do we trust that we will be given the strength to endure? Trust is a tricky thing. It’s part of faith, but it is hard to trust open-endedly. 

  3. Who hasn’t been in the crowd, alone and wondering why or when or how we could trust. And the reality is, when we trust, we are disarming ourselves and making ourselves vulnerable to hurt. People will hurt us, walk away. Some of my greatest hurt this way happened to me when I was nearly forty. But, Jesus never left me and I finally let him become my best friend, and he showed me who else I could trust and how to trust them correctly. After a few years, the others returned, apologies were made and somehow its all sweeter now, even with the sore spot of past pain. and trust is active, like love. Great post, vulnerable and feeling. Thank you

  4. This is sooo me!  I’ve spent the past months letting God remove my walls.  It’s been completely worth the discomfort and fear.  🙂  Love your blog!  I’ll be reading from now on.  🙂

  5. That was a very well written story. One that I really enjoyed reading. I’ll admit to having major trust issues myself.  And then when asked to place that already tenuous trust into an enigmatic supernatural being of questionable background.. well let’s just say it’s a pretty tough pill to swallow.

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