Trust Falls and Trust Fails

Hello Friday! Hello, not sounding like a helium infused chipmunk!

Many Fridays on my blog, I participate in Lisa-Jo’s Five Minute Friday. The rules are simple:

  1. Write for 5 minutes-ish(close enough to count is fine).
  2. No Editing, Over-thinking, or the like…JUST WRITE.
  3. Comment on another 5 Minute Friday post.

Today’s prompt: TRUST

 

Start:

The carpeted gym, the myriad of awkward teenagers, the overenthusiastic leaders–there is really nothing like church youth group. Every summer, we shuffled into the youth room to endure another round of group activities, a devotional, and maybe if we were lucky snacks. One of the worst activities every invented by our youth leaders was the trust fall. All of the teens lined up to catch the willing victim, but I never could conjure up enough courage to try it.

Then, the leader likened the fall to trusting God. Somehow, he (always a male because women couldn’t teach a both guys and girls) would praise those who attempted the trust fall and would show how it proved their trust in God. Sitting with my friends, I felt like the oddball, the one who couldn’t do the activity, and it showed I couldn’t trust God either.In youth group, trusting God sounded easy like brushing my teeth or getting dressed, but it has never been easy for me.

Even now, I struggle to trust people whom I can see, hug, share my life let alone trust God or Jesus or the Holy Spirit whom I can’t see. Too often, I have trusted people, only to be disappointed, frustrated, and humiliated. I have endured people lying about me, slandering me, and simply ignoring my need for their friendship. It is a dark road that many times I have traveled alone. Now, I’m used to being alone, to enduring alone. Along the way, I built up walls so that I wouldn’t be hurt again, so I wouldn’t be tempted to trust anyone ever.

But I couldn’t live like this. Despite being strong, I needed to trust, to relearn how to trust people, to trust God. How could I fully love my spouse or kids if I couldn’t trust them? So I opened my heart to trust them. Once I began slowly removing the brick walls around me, I learned to allow others to help bear the oppressive weight of life, its uplifting joys. It is a slow process, even now, I struggle with trusting that God is good, that Jesus does love me, that the Holy Spirit does hear my prayers. But the process is a start, and I trust that I will find its end.

Finish.