Pitching an Internet Sized Temper Tantrum

Today on Anne Jackson’s blog, she wrote about how she is a person not a brand. As a successful blogger and author, she can’t always respond to everyone’s comment, tweet, or email. I love her blog, her writing, so much so I subscribed so I wouldn’t miss a post. But I am horrible as a commenter, not because she has never responded, but the usual mundane business of life gets in the way. When I read the comments on her blog, I realized how many other people expected a comment or response. Which begs the question:

Are we bloggers only commenting/tweeting etc. for what we gain from it?

I wish the answer wasn’t YES, but we are selfish beings. And I don’t sit here accusing anyone because I can be just as bad or the worst when it comes to this area. We are more interested in using people for our own gain–if I guest post for a super huge blog then my stats will go up, if I comment only on blogs with lots of followers then I might just get more followers, if I review this blogger’s book then I will get more comments on my blog. And heaven help the world if that poor blogger doesn’t comment on the awesome, super sweet book review. We become bitter when our expectations are NOT met because all of those expectations were found upon a self-centered, self-loving, selfish perspective.

We are upset that we aren’t winning the blogging popularity contest so we pitch an internet sized hissy fit. No longer do we comment or tweet another blog because they NEVER responded to our hurried comment or even well-though comment. We grumble and complain when we tirelessly and sometimes annoyingly Retweet a blog promotion only to get no response.

So, we act like a child stamping her foot in ground and throwing ourselves a pity party. If she won’t comment on my blog, then I won’t comment on hers. There’s maturity right there for you. But we don’t have to act on our selfish impulses. We can choose to encourage rather than selfishness. We can remind ourselves why we read blogs, write blogs that it is more about building relationships than self-promotion.

Today, I choose to encourage other bloggers through kind comments, loving emails, or the encouraging tweet.

11 thoughts on “Pitching an Internet Sized Temper Tantrum

  1. I agree with your theory and often feel guilt/pressure because of the whole “follow back” code. Truth? I will not follow/tweet/comment someone just because they do it to me. But I do tweet and comment a lot. I look for relevence and connections. I am a real person looking to build an online community with other real people. I am not a number chaser and I’m not here to pump up other people’s fan base.

    1. Yes, the pressure of if I comment, then you have to comment…gets to be overwhelming. Besides, what am I going to remember more in a year, how awesome my blog stats were, or the awesome people I got to meet online? I’m going with people ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Ouch. Yeah, I definitely whore myself out there pretty good. I like to think that I don’t let non-responsiveness affect my participation in other blogs, but I know that it does, at least to some degree. I do try very hard to keep whining to myself (though some of the constant self-promotion is probably a kind of whining!).

    Good reminder that it’s not (just) about me.

    1. Whore? Wouldn’t have used that word for you or your blog ๐Ÿ™‚ It is so easy to get frustrated when that awesome post had no response or your pithy comment sits there ignored and lonely when a blogger responded to everyone else’s. I need this sermon like daily ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Are you reading my mind today or what? I was just moping this morning about how no one ever retweets my posts, despite the fact that I retweet theirs every day. And I was feeling icky because after the highest views ever last week I had only half that amount this week. And I had a guest post on Tuesday and that was my lowest day of views of the week. And…and…and…I feel left out, less than, rejected and like giving up. Reality check…I don’t comment on everyone’s blogs. I haven’t been checking as many this week because I’ve been sick and busy parenting four young ones. This is such a good reminder of who I want to be, someone who encourages for the sake of encouraging and not for what I gain out of it. Thanks, Sarah!

    1. No, not reading your mind–so failed that class in college ๐Ÿ™‚

      I find myself slipping into the clenches of jealousy often because I’m focusing on numbers, not relationships. I feel left out, ignored as blogger but my goal is to encourage every time I feel the jealous, selfish nature creeping back in–usually on the blog of the person that makes me the most jealous ๐Ÿ™‚ hard,yes, but I need it.

  4. This post makes me extremely grateful that I’m not a real blogger. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I couldn’t care less about that stuff, as I just blog for the sake of blogging, and comment for the sake of commenting. I can see how, if a person has a huge time and emotional investment in things, she might start to feel resentful. It’s not wrong to hope for recognition, but I think it would be unwise to let that wish affect your attitude. And it is especially bad form to let people *know* what kind of response you were hoping for. Why get all huffy? It’s not personal. I return comments because I don’t get very many. If I were, say, Money Saving Mom, I’d have to cut that out. Only 24 hours in a day!

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